Conflict as an onion

We like simple, uncomplicated answers to our problems and conflicts. Ask any politician well versed in our two minute drill, sound bite driven world and they will tell you the same.

Terrorism-- Kill all the terrorists.
Bad Economy- We need new growth.
Global Climate Change- Deny it exists or We stop burning fossil fuels.
Mass Shootings- Stricter gun control, better mental health services or More Guns!
Poor Education- Private schools or more money.

You get the idea. Life is more complicated than catchy slogans and well-polished elevator speeches. The same is true in our everyday lives. We are all too often quick to throw out judgements on others based on how we view their actions. Let's stick to politics for just a moment. Now, this is not a political blog, for the most part. This is to illustrate what I'm talking about.

Voter Apathy- More people should vote.

Bam! End of problem, right? Well, let's see.

Now, here's where the onion come in. Think of a conflict like an onion. What we want to do is peel back the layers (asking why) one by one until we reach the core where we cannot go any deeper. Yes, it may indeed cause tears. So voter apathy.

Layer one- People are lazy.
Why?
Layer two- They don't care.
Why?
Layer three- The would rather do noting to make things better.
Why?
Layer four- Things are more or less okay for them.
Why?
Layer five- Voting is a hassle.
Why?
Politicians don't want it to be too easy.

I'll let you sort out your own view of what may be at the core of this one. Try this when going through a conflict when you have ample time to think it through objectively as possible.     

     
 

Narratives the stories we tell and How to change beliefs?

"We are story telling primates cast adrift on a tiny island called Earth." -Something I read somewhere.

This is either the most nihilistic thing I've ever herd or the most profound. We base our identity on the stories we are told and later re-tell. I'm an American. That's a story of a group. The story of America I hear is far different from the story of America a new recruit from ISIS hears. How can stories about the same thing, America, be so different? Who writes the stories we internalize? What makes them stick or stay with us? Another question I have is how do we change the stories we believe in? Can that guy from ISIS come to see America as the land of freedom and opportunity? What would need to transpire for that to happen?

There are way too many questions here to answer in a single blog post or even a book. One thing I'm interested in in is how people change their minds. I think one key is hearing different stories, lots of different stories. If I'm in one group that has a certain set of narratives (stories) that define it, how can I grow or change?  I think this is the rub for a lot of people. We fall into routines, not just our daily schedules, but routines of thought. See a headline on social media that's a turn-off? Are you going to read it? I'll be honest. I seldom do. It has to be worded in such a way to make me give it a chance or the person who posted it is someone who's opinion I value. Look, I'm not a fan of the whole "get out of your comfort zone" notion. It sounds preachy and I have to wonder how many of those who use the phrase actually walk the walk. That said, I believe to be thinking, growing adults we need to look beyond our everyday routines and habits. All too often, we focus on what makes us different, unique and I. Here in the west, we fear "We." If its not about my I-phone, my direct (to me) TV or my team (we played hard tonight- really? Tell me your position?), Most of us haven't got time for it. We are rapidly losing our ability to relate to each other as just people. We want to read the labels. Does he have a rebel flag? Does she have tattoos? Is that guy gay? Is she single? Based on the answers, this may or may not be someone I want to know. But here's the deal.

Nobody fits all nice and neat into one category or another. Each of us are many things. Not only that but we evolve and change. I cannot thin of a dumber criticism than being a political flip-flopper. I want somebody than can change their minds based on new information or a different insight. We are different things to different people depending on the situation. I may knock back a few beers with friends on a Saturday evening but I'm not going to get loaded at work! One goes with the narrative while the second goes against it.  I like the story my co-workers have about me as being professional and dependable. Some of my friends like the beer drinker guy. We play hundreds of different roles in other people's stories as well as our own.  So, take it easy. Don't let just one bad decision or action ruin the whole person for you. Like my old boss said, "everybody has a bad day from time to time."  

I think some of the questions we started off with about how views are changed are important for resolving differences. Look for answers in future posts. What's your narrative?             

Don't Give Up

Got something you want to do and it is not working out? Here are a few things to remember...

1. It may take longer than you thought at first. Days can turn into weeks or even months. This is not the end of the world. There will be setbacks along the way. If the goal is worthwhile, it will be even sweeter!

2. Remember this... "Adapt, Adjust, Improvise." Step back from the barrier and let your brain rest. There's a good chance your brain will come up with a solution sometime down the road, like on your way home from work or while doing laundry. It's funny how that works. Also, mull it over a little as you go to sleep or when you first wake up. The mind is in a different state where barriers can fall with ease.

3. No, others cannot solve your problems or achieve your goals all the time but they can sure be helpful from time to time. So socialize and brainstorm. What you give, you get. Be open to people who may NOT be like minded. It's harder to grow if you spend all of your time with people that think, act and look like you. Step out!   

4. And last... You should get back at least what you put into the goal. This may not be what you thought in the beginning. It may look completely different from what you had in mind.

Just a few thoughts as we move into summer. 

Meeting Others

Meet others where they are, not where you want them to be. It's that simple.  

risk...

It is hard to make to make much progress in life without risk. Think about it, your first steps were risky. And it only goes up from there.  Just getting around (on foot, car or airplane), what career to get going and relationships all involve risks. It is important to learn at a young age that failure only occurs in one or two ways- you stop trying or you don't learn from the failure. Who quits trying to learn to walk after the seemingly mandatory stumbles and falls? We all keep going. It is easier if there is someone there to help us and get us back underway. Having a support group there is all important. We all need to be able on someone to be there and pick us up when we fail. They can help us learn and give us courage to move forward yet again.   

Step Out -- Be Informed

Yes, there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world. Many of us here in the west have the luxury of simply tuning out much of the bad. After all, we have enough of our own problems to deal with. Why worry about events beyond our control in places like Syria, Yemen, Iraq or north Korea? I think we need to be good students of the world if for no other reason, to understand ourselves. People look at me like I'm from Mars if I dare to suggest ISIS-style extremism can happen here. Well, it can. The conditions that lead to ISIS / extremism can happen anywhere with all too predictable results. Extreme poverty, non-existent healthcare and too little education never end well. So, when I hear things like "Religious Freedom Laws" that are nothing more than a thinly veiled right to discriminate and dehumanize others green lights granted by states, frankly it scares me. There is much to learn from the rest of the world and if you are able to read this, there is no reason not to.  

We cannot hide away in our own little worlds wrapped up comfortably in schedules, routines and habits. We need to engage. We need to make life better and more enjoyable for others. This cannot be done by ignoring suffering close by or for away. So work to make a difference. Help those in need. No, you don't have to find a solution to poverty, war or genocide. It can be as simple as cheering someone up. Small steps.  Think the butter-fly effect.

Spring is Springing

Time for nature to renew and refresh herself.

Think about doing the same thing. All it takes to get started is one step in the right direction.

Get Outside

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you are taking a moment or two to look at this blog. But it is getting warmer. That means it is time to get out of the house and do stuff. No matter where you are in life, there is no substitute for direct interaction with other people. All on line social networks are is a way to meet friends old and new. They are NOT a replacement for live in-the-flesh interaction. Study after study has confirmed this. With so much going on, there is no reason to be bored. Find what interest you and chances are there is a group of like-minded people near by. There are tons of things to do for free, church groups, free thinkers groups, festivals and volunteer organizations (and what ever else you can thing of) want and need you. Get outside, get involved and be happy and useful!   

Friend of Fear

A close friend of fear is doubt, self-doubt. Second-guessing yourself all the time will do little to move the ball down the field towards a goal, any goal. It can be overcome. Do it in little steps. Think of the smallest accomplishment as a step in the right direction. I got up, got ready and went to work. Not a huge deal. But I did it! Build on that. Enough small accomplishments can lay a foundation for making the bigger stuff happen.

Another key part is simply feeling good. If I'm not feeling well and or hurting that simple goal of going to work is going to be much harder. I think it all kind of starts from with in. Feeling good about myself, taking care of my self and staying healthy are essential to getting anything done or helping others.

Speaking of helping others, that's also a great way to make myself feel better. If I'm having a bad day, getting someone else to smile or feel better turns my day around in a snap. Try it. It will work. And no, it does not require moving mountains, a simple complement will do. You can never go wrong letting other people know they are cared about and valued.

Put away the fear and doubt stuff. The weather is getting nice. Get out there and get to it!  

Trust Issues

Hey All,

Let's talk a minute about trust issues. Believe me when I say they are closely related to fears we talked about recently. You know the type, those who think everyone is out to screw them over, take advantage of them or has some kind of hidden agenda. They can be difficult to be around as they try to unload all that negativity. Two things. Don't be one of these people. Get them out of your life. Yes, we need to be skeptical and protect ourselves. Just do not carry it to the extreme.  Most of the time no one is trying to screw you over. Rather, they like you, are just trying to get through the day. They have their own worries and problems to deal with. Give others a chance to do the right thing and more often than not, they will. If this is not true for you, look both inward and who you are around. See what changes need to be made. Going through life as a negative downer type is no fun, a real joy killer. Life is just to short.  Here's a recent example from my personal experience.

I just had to get out of the house. So I decided to take a cruse (car trip) to the mountains. I was feeling good and decided to keep on keeping on. Instead of running out all my gas, I decided to stop. So, I go an and put it on my debit card. I ask the guy behind the counter if I need to get change, do I need to come back in? "No," he says, "we will credit your card." A random guy helps pump my gas and sure enough, I paid too much. The random guy asks the cashier the same thing and gets the same answer. I thought little else about it for the rest of the trip. The next day, I check my bank. No change. "I've been scammed," I thought. Okay, lesson learned. Cost me six bucks but lesson learned. It did not add up. I had two receipts clearly showing the difference. How did the cashier know I lived fifty miles away and would not come back all fired up demanding to speak to a manager? Was the random guy in on it? That did not add up either. Nobody likes to be duped. I had decided to let it go and take my six dollar lesson to heart. But it still bothered me. A day or two later I checked my bank account again and of course it was right! The charge had been corrected! My faith in humanity had been restored.

I must say I felt a little foolish for my doubt. Nothing added up. What happed was I got gas on a weekend day when the banks are doing little to nothing. It only seemed I had been cheated. I know this can and does happen. That's why I was willing to take my loss as a lesson. I still think, given the chance, people will do the right thing. I never allowed my doubt to get the best of me or ruin what was otherwise an awesome day.           

Good Health

None of what I post here matters if we don't take good care of ourselves. Nothing is more valuable than good health. What good is all the money in the world if you do not feel well enough to enjoy it? If you are at all like me, your health is not perfect. Maybe you are a little too heavy, don't exercise enough and don't eat healthy. Along with getting busy with work, family and the daily grind, it is easy to forget the most important thing-- taking good care of ourselves. It is easier and quicker to hit the drive through at McNasty than go home and make a proper dinner (a touch of meat, with lots of fruit and vegetables). When I was young, the effects of a tasty junk food meal seemed minimal. But the reality is this "food product" is like fine sandpaper wearing down your good health. It seems no big deal at first. But take another look two years, five years or ten years later and witness what paramedics call a "train wreck." This is someone with diabetes, high blood pressure (heart disease), weak immune systems, joint and back problems and so on and so on. This person's only source of happiness is the next McNasty fix. And even that is not what it once was. All they can talk about is their endless health problems, doctors appointments and up coming procedures. We all know people in this boat. It s just a part of American culture. My own health never got quite this bad. It was headed in the wrong direction.

A so-so diet and a very sedentary job conspired to try and kill me. I'm already handicapped and a substantial weight gain did me no favors. I found myself being pushed along in a wheelchair all too often for distances that should have been easily managed. Walking and doing normal stuff became harder and harder. Then one day at work, my left arm became numb. I was smart enough to know not to ignore this. Thinking it was just a pinched nerve I drove myself to a doc in the box close by. The next thing I know I'm in an ambulance being rushed to the hospital. I had some kind of "event" Later on I came to believe this was a small heart attack (if there is such a thing). A three year trip through a medical mystery tour had begun. I'd feel dizzy and off balance almost every day. I just passed out three to five times for no known reason. I wore a heart monitor two or three times for three week stretches, nothing. Finally, i was diagnosed with third degree heart block. No, this was not caused by too many trips to McNasty (or was it?). It is not a blockage of arteries in the heart but rather the signals that tell the heart to beat being blocked. There is more to it than this but you get the idea. The problem was fixed with a pacemaker I named Pacman. What caused the signal to be blocked was, most likely, a small heart attack. So I was told. Slowly, I began to make changes.  

My diet improved. I made it a point to get up and move around more at work. I was able to ditch the wheelchair more and more. I started doing leg lifts. Just twenty a night to start and I added more as time went on. I got up to 120 a night. It just made me feel better. Still my diet is not perfect but it is so much better than before. I exercise fairly regularly now and walk around a lot more than I used to. I'm a work in in progress I guess you could say. I think we all are. The point to this story is you don't have to change everything over night. Start with one positive small step and build on it. There is no way you can help others and let your own health go. That's just a bad deal all the way around. It is never too late to start. I had an uncle quit smoking in his early sixties and he felt better within a day or two. He used to smoke three plus packs a day! Good health is essential for being a happy contributing member of the community. It can be done. You just have to commit to it. And start off small. The change will come. I need to get outside now.

Thanks for reading.            

Get To It

Get to it! Do something, even if it is wrong. Inaction breeds inaction. It's that old fear thing that all too often holds us back. Figure out what's the worst that can happen, weigh it against what is happening (or not happening) and against what you want to happen. What is the cost if inaction? Lost time? No improvement? Stagnation? Life getting worse? You don't know until you try!  The point is inaction is a killer, a killer of ideas, dreams, hopes and possibilities. Nothing will happen from nothing. All the daydreaming in the world will not do much better. I know this is a little vague but I hope you get the idea. Take the chance... 

Keep the Pedal Down

Keep moving forward, no limits. 

The express rout to the bottom is to stop learning and growing. Life is not fair. That's a truism if there ever was one. Bad things happen to good people. There is no way around it. Or is there? Well, nothing is certain in life. But there is one thing you can do to protect yourself. Learn. That's right, be learning new things all of the time. Study has a huge impact on our lives. Consider careers.

The person who took a job at eighteen and kept it for another twenty years without learning any new skills is in a bad place when that business closes down. They  do not have the tools to rebound and get ahead. Also, they face age discrimination. They were not a bad person and really did nothing wrong. But neither of these will pay the bills that do not stop. Don't wind up in this situation. Always be learning new things. We live in a cold and unforgiving system that could care less if you were a bad person or did nothing wrong. It is going to keep moving forward. The future makes no promises and living pay check to pay check doing the same thing every day is risky. It is easy to make excuses like I don't have enough time, money or I'm not smart enough. Routines are hard to break out of. Instead of the change happening to you. You make the change. This is life! Take control!          

Thanks for reading. Think it over and have a good weekend.  

On Fear

"Your deepest darkest fear comes true... And you realize you are still okay." -Unknown.

One of my biggest fears. Yeah, they still chase me in dreams from time to time.

A lot of us operate from a place of fear. We're all too often afraid to do what we want or love because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of looking bad, fear of the unknown etc etc always hold us back. We have to come to terms with our fears. I think this is done via learning. Why did I fail in the bast? Why do I care what so and so thinks? What if the worst case scenario come true? What can I do then? Take time and think it through. Once we know some answers, fears begin to fade. This can work in so many parts of our lives.

Get to know those people who look and dress different. Get to know people we disagree with. Get to know those who think different. We all share a common thing called humanity. A friend one told me, "...the things we are the most ashamed of are also the most universal." I think that's not only true but very powerful. No matter how bad it gets, somebody has been there before, somebody is there now and you are not alone. Reach out. Somebody will take your hand and help putt you through.

Dealing with fear is a universal topic. So what's your take?

       

The Problem

 

 

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem."

Captain Jack Sparrow

 

 

 

 

Perspective

Pale Blue Dot

Appreciation

Appreciation- never fail to let those around you you how much you value them. Be thankful for the smallest thing done for you. It may mean more than you know. Taking others for granted is an easy habit to fall into and it is a bad habit. Being appreciative and thankful are two things we cannot over do. Even if someone says you don't need to thank me, thank them anyway. Just keep it short and simple.

Nothing will sink your value in the eyes of others as fast as not saying and meaning thank you. Forgetting to do so is just not acceptable. Don't let it slide.

I'm not complaining about the weather. I'm thankful for it! Soon enough everyone will be complaining about how hot it is and how fall cannot get here quickly enough. Not me, man! I'm thankful for each day as it comes, perfect.

Ah yes, thank you for reading and sharing!

Make it a great week! 

Create Stuff Do Stuff

Marla Ruzicka

Marla Ruzicka

Life is a Miracle! So Live It.

The Power of Just One Person 

Just being able to experience life as we do is a miracle in it's own right. I try to live through experiences without judgement. Things just are. They are not good or bad. This is called living without judgement. I am by no means a master of it. It is all to easy to be judgmental. This person is good while that one is bad. Based on what? My own very limited perceptions? My values? My ideas of right and wrong? My ego? I have to realize my limitations and question myself. What am I missing? I'm not a believer in black and white or good and bad. In my experience it is a mix. So called good people can have bad days and weak moments. A mistake or two along the way should not make me think a person is all bad or evil. I need to constantly remind myself of this. People are just... people.

People being people

I'm not a religious person, at least not in a traditional sense. That said, I can still learn a lot from religious teachings. The Christian notion of human beings being "fallen" from Grace on some level rings true to me. We don't live up to our potential. We are imperfect for sure. Just turn on the evening news to see just how "fallen" we are. How are things like poverty, starvation and war allowed not only to exist but to thrive? How can we explain these most unnatural things being redefined as not only natural but necessary? There are enough resources for there to be no poverty, starvation or need for war but we utterly fail. And he bigger failure is our acceptance of it. If this does not reinforce the idea of us all being "fallen" I don't know what else does. I can see why so many people are sad and depressed. The amount of hopelessness seems so overwhelming. There are alternatives.

Happiness 

I cannot fix the world without first fixing myself. I have to get better at living without judgement. I have to question myself all the time. I have to think before speaking. I have to listen more. I don't know when I'll be done or ready if you will. I think it is a life-long process of learning. If I can improve myself a little, perhaps I can help you improve a little as well. It can go on from there. In time, the world will be a better place. Don't let the so-called news discourage you. Despite all that's wrong, we still live in amazing times.        

Possibility

Positive Stuff

 

 

White House staffer Leah Katz-Hernandez is a pioneer on the reception desk

 

Hero dachshund helps save St. Bernard

 

Virginia Teen Offers To Shovel Snow For Elderly Man

 

Norwegian Muslims volunteer to protect synagogue

 

Officer's act of kindness helps shoplifter out of difficult situation

Agnostic

Time as we know and experience it, only goes in one direction. That means each day we are getting closer and closer to the end of our lives. That is not meant to be dark. Rather the opposite! We need to live each and every day to the fullest amount possible. Some take comfort in tales of an afterlife. Not me. I think it is best to operate and live as if this is it. How can somebody live a good moral life without religion or some kind of belief in a higher power? 

Easy, through kindness and compassion. I'm not saying there is no God. I don't know. There could be. I like to think this is the only shot at life I get. Being good to others and ourselves is important for making the world a better place. This is self-evident. I better make my little  time here worthwhile. What I will leave here is my legacy. I will certainly live on in the memories of others, the good I tried to do as well as the bad stuff I've done.  I'm okay with that. Hopefully, the good will far outweigh the bad. If I'm wrong about an afterlife, great! Would the all powerful, all knowing and all loving creator of the universe condemn me for nor being sure? I don't think so. I'm not sure I can begin to imagine a being so powerful to create a universe or multi-verse. If you can, wow... just wow! Deep time, endless galaxies, black holes, countless stars and planets are just some of the phenomena that makes the guy we hear about as God so implausible for me. Distant, separate, sometimes genocidal and dualistic does not sound like the creator of the universe / multi-verse. Any god that requires me to create an "other" I simply cannot accept. I'm not demonizing and dehumanizing anybody. Different is good. That's how I learn more and grow. Mystery makes life all the more worthwhile.  

As Matt the bartender once said, "We don't even know the right questions to ask." I'm not attacking anyone's faith or beliefs. I'm just asking questions. I think we can do what we feel gets us best through this difficult thing called life. If that's a relationship with Jesus, Mohammed, God or gods even, I say go for it! All of the world's religions have positive things to offer. I like to learn about all of them as well as from Atheists. All have insight to truth on one level or another. Perhaps at some point, it all comes together. When it did  for Buddha, he just threw his head back and laughed at the simple clarity of it all. I read that somewhere and think it's pretty cool. I think I can be agnostic and Buddhist at the same time. How do we know stuff? We learn stories or narratives. Religion and science are two narratives, two ways of understanding. 

I see science and religion as two very different things. Science relies on evidence and the known  while religion relies on faith and the unknown. For me, they don't mix well. Creationism? Please! Science has no way (at present) to prove or disprove the existence of God or gods. That's why I'm an agnostic. I'll refrain from attacking the beliefs of my friends, family members and so many others. There is too much focus on differences already. What makes us all similar?  If you want to learn more about the atheist / agnostic perspective look up Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett and Christopher Hitchens. Even if you a person of faith, I'd invite you to give a listen. See what they have to say. A part of living is the sheer mystery of it all. There is one notable exception I'm aware of science and religion being in harmony. 

I really like, Michael Dowd. Check him out as well. He does a good a job blending science and religion. If such a thing is even possible. His central idea, as I understand it, is believe in reality and accept it. That's kind of hard to argue with.  He can explain it much better than I can. So follow the link. It will be well worth it. I'm still trying to get my head around it. 

In any event, live for each other and for today! Heaven may or may not be real. The only thing we are 100% sure of is our mortality. While you are studying the possibility of an afterlife, don't forget to live this one.  

Give your BS Detector A Tune-Up

Somebody might be pulling your leg, feeding you a load or more simply- lying to you. So how can you know? I'm not sure there is a 100% full-proof way to tell. But there is something you can do. THINK CRITICALLY. In a nutshell, it means asking a lot of questions. Who is telling you the information? What's their source and why are they telling you in the first place? What do they have to gain or lose? It addition to asking a lot of questions, it means thinking through your own answers. How plausible are your conclusions? What does this look like?

Is my mechanic just trying to sell me a new set of tires to keep me safe or is he trying to meet a sales goal for the month?

Let's go to the evidence. I know one tire is really bad. The guy has never been an over zealous seller type before in the ten plus years I've known him. He's even helped me out of a jam or two in the past and not charged me anything. So, it is reasonable to think he's looking out for me more than just trying making an  extra fast buck. So, yeah, I still go to him.

Take a step back and think it through, especially if there are more emotions involved than a set of tires. You will thank yourself later on in the long run. Look at the situation as if you are the other person or group. What do they see? What can they see? What are you missing? Not sure? ask.

Stay flexible and open minded. Thinking Critically also means being able to change your mind as you gain more knowledge. Changing your mind is not a weakness, it is a trait of learning.   

Money and Manners

Money... The root of all evil. Right? Well, until you go without any. Yes, there are a few souls who have actually managed to do just that. If any of my readers fall in this category, please let me know. I think it would be a great thing to do. I'm still in the money system if you please. I guess you are as well. I've been flat busted broke and comfortable. Being broke sucks. At least I had a strong social network to fall back on (not face book). So being broke is relative. There are plenty of homeless people who would have gladly traded places with me. And if you have been overseas, you know there are people who would gladly trade places with a homeless person here. Money plays an interesting role in our lives. For some, it becomes an end in itself. How much they have, how much things cost and what things are worth are all they seem to talk about. But ask that same person directly, "is money the most important thing to you?" I bet they will tell you "No." It is so ubiquitous in their lives they don't even realize it.

The people I like best never talk about money. I may know they are well off or comfortable but I have no idea what their income is. The subject never comes up. I had a friend who'd dad was an airline pilot when air line pilots made a very good living. They lived in an average neighborhood and drove nice vehicles but not high end flashy cars. I think they did a good job of keeping money in perspective. Sure, it is important but so are a lot of other things, like being a good human being. Let me share this quite I heard once. "Money is like manure. Big piles of it attract a lot of flies. Spreading it around can create a lot of beautiful flowers." There is a balance to it. In this world, I cannot get by without money. I have to realize there are things more important like relationships I want to preserve and grow. So if I'm worried about every little detail of who owes who and how much, I'm going to create a lot of unnecessary stress for myself and those around me. I maintain it all equals out in the end. Somebody buys me lunch, down the road, I'll get somebody else's. It all works out. No worry!

Just a little thinking with a keyboard on a frosty February afternoon. I think we'll revisit money from to time...               

Projecting Positive!

The last post we touched on putting what we don't like about ourselves on others. The opposite can be true as well. Try seeing what you like about yourself in others. It can be something as simple as a smile. People usually smile back. It has to be real to work. Anything less is well, sorta creepy. Seeing the good in others is not all that hard to do. We are all parents, sons, daughters and brothers and sisters. I've never met anyone born in a vacuum.  The glue that holds it all together is love. It is universal. That said, remember we are all coping as best we can with whatever obstacles we are facing. Accept people even when they are not at their best. Its not what you do or don't do its how you make them feel. Projecting positive feelings is a lot easier, at least in my experience anyway.

Have a great week! 

Accepting Flaws

Flawed, fallen and broken. These words can describe us all at some time or another in our lives. It is universal. Who will be the first one to argue with "...No one is perfect."? Hey, I'm not even sure I punctuated that sentence correctly. Feel free to let me know. Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Unfortunately, we have been casting away ever since. I think we cast stones at ourselves. We see things in others we don't like in ourselves. For example, I don't like stubborn people, those not open to new ideas or experiences. The truth of the matter is I'm happy right where I am. I like my close circle of friends who look and think like I do. I'm projecting my own flaws and insecurities on to others. When I find myself being judgmental, I try to catch it and look inward, Usually, it is something I'm not comfortable with within. Try that sometime and see what you come up with.   

Some good stuff!

There is good all around. Just take a look. 

An Officer's Act of Kindness

Another Good Cop Story

And one more

Students avoid Debit

When People Stand Up