"We are story telling primates cast adrift on a tiny island called Earth." -Something I read somewhere.
This is either the most nihilistic thing I've ever herd or the most profound. We base our identity on the stories we are told and later re-tell. I'm an American. That's a story of a group. The story of America I hear is far different from the story of America a new recruit from ISIS hears. How can stories about the same thing, America, be so different? Who writes the stories we internalize? What makes them stick or stay with us? Another question I have is how do we change the stories we believe in? Can that guy from ISIS come to see America as the land of freedom and opportunity? What would need to transpire for that to happen?
There are way too many questions here to answer in a single blog post or even a book. One thing I'm interested in in is how people change their minds. I think one key is hearing different stories, lots of different stories. If I'm in one group that has a certain set of narratives (stories) that define it, how can I grow or change? I think this is the rub for a lot of people. We fall into routines, not just our daily schedules, but routines of thought. See a headline on social media that's a turn-off? Are you going to read it? I'll be honest. I seldom do. It has to be worded in such a way to make me give it a chance or the person who posted it is someone who's opinion I value. Look, I'm not a fan of the whole "get out of your comfort zone" notion. It sounds preachy and I have to wonder how many of those who use the phrase actually walk the walk. That said, I believe to be thinking, growing adults we need to look beyond our everyday routines and habits. All too often, we focus on what makes us different, unique and I. Here in the west, we fear "We." If its not about my I-phone, my direct (to me) TV or my team (we played hard tonight- really? Tell me your position?), Most of us haven't got time for it. We are rapidly losing our ability to relate to each other as just people. We want to read the labels. Does he have a rebel flag? Does she have tattoos? Is that guy gay? Is she single? Based on the answers, this may or may not be someone I want to know. But here's the deal.
Nobody fits all nice and neat into one category or another. Each of us are many things. Not only that but we evolve and change. I cannot thin of a dumber criticism than being a political flip-flopper. I want somebody than can change their minds based on new information or a different insight. We are different things to different people depending on the situation. I may knock back a few beers with friends on a Saturday evening but I'm not going to get loaded at work! One goes with the narrative while the second goes against it. I like the story my co-workers have about me as being professional and dependable. Some of my friends like the beer drinker guy. We play hundreds of different roles in other people's stories as well as our own. So, take it easy. Don't let just one bad decision or action ruin the whole person for you. Like my old boss said, "everybody has a bad day from time to time."
I think some of the questions we started off with about how views are changed are important for resolving differences. Look for answers in future posts. What's your narrative?
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