When we think of serious conflict here in the US, we think of the legal system. Have a serious disagreement with a neighbor, a family member or whoever, you can take them to court. If actual laws are broken, the state or federal government will take them to court. It's true, we are a nation of laws and no one is above the law, not even ex-presidents, as we are finding out. In our constitution we have protections and rights and let's not forget responsibilities. No doubt, there is a lot of good in our system. Although it's slow, I think we get just outcomes. Yes, there are serious problems like one justice system for the wealthy and another for the poor. Our legal system is expensive, cumbersome and very bureaucratic. That's hardly a good way to settle a minor dispute with a neighbor or family member. This is where alternative dispute resolution comes in.
Alternative dispute resolution uses tools such as mediation, negotiation, and facilitation to help people resolve their differences. These tools are great but I don't think they can replace the legal system. However, they can help. Instead of going to lawyers, judges and outsiders determining who gets what traditional route of divorce a couple can now get a mediated divorce. For this to work, I think the couple should at least be on speaking terms. Personally, I don't think this is an option if child abuse or other forms of domestic violence are occurring. That is clearly best left to the courts to sort out. That said, many couples may benefit separating via mediated divorce. The court system can drag on for months and months and possibly even years via delays and appeals while mediated settlements can be reached much quicker and still be legally binding. This can free up the court system four more pressing societal problems like violent crime.
Mediation gives the parties in a dispute more control over the outcome then they would have going to court. The conflicting parties have an opportunity to meet face to face and listen to each other. Mediation is not about winning. The idea is to find solutions to problems both sides can live with. I've seen this firsthand. There was an extended family involved in a drawn out court battle over a substantial estate. Meeting together with a mediator they were able to successfully resolve who got what in less than six hours. It was nice seeing people leave happy and once again on speaking terms after being estranged for years! I don't think either side won in the traditional sense but they did find solutions everyone could live with. Another tool of alternative dispute resolution is facilitation.
Sometimes groups can get bogged down, unable to help their organization move forward. Meetings become counterproductive and in the worst case sometimes make matters worse. Members of an organization in a meeting create a system. Each person takes on a role within that system. That's great until the system stops functioning properly. Bad attitudes, big egos and hunger for power (even within a small organization) can stymie growth and innovation. Getting things done or trying to make changes becomes next to impossible. This may be a good time to call in a professional facilitator. A facilitator simply by being there changes the system. Those with bad attitudes, big egos and power trips are less likely to act out with an unknown person in the room. Depending on the need, the facilitator can work with the group to lay out ground rules and goals for the meeting. It's important to note although a facilitator may suggest some ground rules, it is up to the people in the meeting to approve them along with their own proposed rules. Once again control is in the hands of the attendees and not being an imposed by someone else. Facilitation can be a great way to get things unstuck and moving forward again.
Another tool in the alternative dispute resolution toolbox is negotiation. Like mediation and facilitation, the emphasis is on giving the parties more say and control in the outcome. Arbitration is something completely different. If negotiations fail the conflict can be brought before an arbitrator who then decides on a solution. Negotiations run the gamut from as small as two parties all the way up to blocks of nations. Yet, the best practices for successful negotiation remained the same. Before the negotiation even begins do your homework! Think from your own side as well as from the other side. What do you think will be most important for them? It is most important to know what is non-negotiable for you. What is it you have to have or the least you can get out of the negotiation? It is also important to build trust and understanding with the other party or parties. The goal is a workable and livable solution, and not a “win.”
Mediation negotiation and facilitation are great tools for resolving disputes and conflicts. They cannot be a replacement for the legal system but may in some cases lead to more just outcomes. I like these tools because they give the parties most affected more say and control of the outcome. If you would like to learn more check out the links below:
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