On Truth

We all have a notion of what the truth is. But can there really be a Capital T Truth? I guess there is in math. It is true 2 +2 = 4. The hard sciences, like physics, have Capital T Truths like planets orbit stars and so on. We can figure some of these things out. But when it comes to relationships with our fellow human beings, hard truths become more elusive. Memories fade, new experiences further cloud our minds and the relentless march of time changes our perspective. Think of all the cases where eyewitnesses were proven wrong mistaking identity with sometimes-disastrous effects. How do we KNOW what we know? We create stories to explain events. Sometimes our stories miss or leave out important details. Accepting such mistakes is not easy. It can be hard admitting we were wrong about something. When we do, we have to examine ourselves more closely, as well as how we create our inner stories. In a culture where we are supposed to be strong, and not make mistakes hard self-reflection is not easy. Our egos, shaped by a hyper-individualistic, culture don't take the idea of possibly being wrong well. Admitting fault or error shows weakness. How does all of this play out in an on going dispute?

I feel strongly that I was wronged, and my feelings have been hurt. I cannot understand how things got to this point, and I'm stressed out wishing it would just "go away." To resolve the issue, I'm going to have to let go a little and walk in the other person's shoes. It is much easier to write this than really do it. I will have to rethink my story about what has transpired, and get past the I'm right and you're wrong notion I've been holding on to. I, like many people, will need a good reason to doubt my own conclusions. Otherwise, I'll not resolve anything. I'll just carry on saying he or she is a so and so (insert your favorite expletive), and not much will change. I have to have a good reason to re-open old wounds and hurts. The relationship with this person must be more valuable than holding onto old hurts. Family is a good example. We cannot change our family members. Our parents will always be our parents. It could be a good long-term business relationship. I feel like I was done wrong. Should I end an otherwise good, and mutually beneficial relationship? If the answer is "No," I need to resolve the problem. I have to be in the right place mentally.

I need to be able to think of the Truth, subjectively. Others also have what they consider Truth and I need to be open to considering their point of view. If I'm going into try and resolve an old hurt, I need to back off from merely defending "my position." One way to do this is go for a helicopter ride. Not literally but intellectually. By this I mean to take myself out of the situation, and survey the whole area around the conflict. I may be able to see important things I've missed that can be used to reach an agreeable and just outcome. All involved need to shed their fear of heights, and come out from the barricades egos have built up over time to take a fresh view of what has transpired. If those involved cannot agree, at least in principal, to let go a little there is little hope of truly resolving anything. Just agreeing to talk openly and honestly is a big step in the right direction. At the very least, we can learn some new information.        

A few Sunday morning thoughts...