Been thinking about Bullies. We're all too often hearing about kids being literally being bullied to death. They are taking their own lives. I think it is something we have all experienced at one time or another, and if we are honest with ourselves, we may not have always been the victim. I shared my experience with the school bully here and here. Sadly, this behavior has moved far beyond the school yard. Bullies can be found in almost any organization, even churches. What do we mean by "Bully?"
Bully- a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people. This is according to dictionary.com.
I'd say this is as good a definition as any. So we got a definition, but what causes people to become bullies? I'm cautious when trying to "define" anyone. Bulling is a behavior, not a person. Joey may act like a bully at school sometimes, but he's still liked by his peers, and not a bad guy over all. If we slap the "Bully" label on him, are we not actually dehumanizing him? "Oh, he's just a bully. He got what he deserved." We need to remember to separate the behavior from the person. If Joey is in school, he's still just a kid. The boss who uses bullying to get his or her way is still a human being. Our roles change as we go through the day. Is it possible the bully boss may also be a good parent or spouse? Sure. The behavior is not always the person. Like all behaviors, bullying is learned. Something got the bully boss to that point. Was he or she bullied by their boss earlier in their career? They may see fear and intimidation as the best way to get results. Many businesses and organizations have a hierarchical structure that gives some more authority than others. There are a lot of management types out there that view bullying their employees as the best way to get things done. New managers coming in have no reason to feel otherwise and the behavior continues. And while the company may be doing okay, everyone is miserable Abuse begets abuse. This can clearly be seem in families where the abused grows up to be the abuser. It is what they have learned, and, sadly, all they know. The person demonstrating bully behavior, is doing so because that's what they have learned, and it is re-enforced with approving behavior. In the business world, the bottom line is what matters most, and if a few are bullied along the way, so be it. There is a bright side. New behaviors can be learned.
The bully manager can learn to get better results from his or her employees with more positive management strategies. He or she can be shown examples of more successful businesses where the employees are happy. Bullied employees can learn new methods to counter the behavior in such a way that does not keep re-enforcing the behavior. The company can implement different methods of conflict resolution such as the use of an ombudsman. What's needed for this kind of change to be brought about is a simple recognition of the status quo having to change. Stressed employees cost money in a number of different ways, everything from absenteeism, to less productivity, to work place violence. Is bullying really the best way to get the most out of people? Well, I don't think so.
We'll pick up what YOU can do in the next post.
More information :
Workplace Bullying
More Defined
Bullying and Civil Rights
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