Not All Cookies and Cream

Life is not all cookies and cream, not by a long shot.There are numerous speed bumps along the way. An old friend called distasteful people that came through his life "vertical speed bumps." Kind of go over or around them and keep on keeping on. When a conflict is really deep and difficult, we call it entrenched or intractable. A good political example would be Israel and Palestine. When is it time to let go of a deep conflict or wade into destructive creation? When something is destroyed, something else new takes its place. The wife moves on after the ex-husband, as old business relationships are cut, new ones are formed and we reinvent ourselves socially and career wise becoming a new person. These are some of the transformations that take place during conflict.

Most of us see conflict as a bad thing but it can also do much good. Sometimes, unhealthy relationships need to end. My questions are;

When is enough enough?

How do we decide to cut our losses and move on?

What comes next?

Let's think about these.

When is enough enough?
If the damage being done outweighs the benefits of the relationship at some point, we have to move on. If I have a friend who's idea of joking around is constantly putting me down and laughing at my expense and all I get out of the deal is not having to go out alone, I should try to address the issue. If this does not work, I may choose to simply stay at home and or make new better friends. No one should put up with insults and abuse, especially from a friend.

How do we decide to cut our losses and move on?
This is a question with no easy answers. In the above example, our friend may just be going through a weird phase as a result of some stresser we are unaware of. If you think this is what's going on, it may be worth riding it out awhile to keep an otherwise good Friend. On TV and in the movies, these decisions are pretty much cut and dry, the whole bad guy thing.


What comes next?
Think about what will life look like on the other side. Think about the best possible outcome and move towards that goal. Life may not be like anything you imagined it, but it could also much better. The key is, is it worth it keeping things as they are, unhealthy relationships.

Life is messy and anything but all Cookies and cream.